Tuesday 27 March 2012

Kinky Afro - Happy Mondays, the unofficial story.

Whilst sat on a park bench in Whitworth Park in Manchester I watched as people walked by trying to see if I could recognise him, however I didn’t expect him to come up from behind, “You go spooky in a band!” was my uncontrolled instant reaction.

“So you are my dad then.” He said.

“Son, I’m 30, I only went with your mother ‘cause she’s dirty and I don’t have a decent bone in me yeah.” I said after he fired question after question at me without even taking a breath, “What you see is what you get yeah.” I continued but he wasn’t having any of it.
“I should so I take it free yeah and all the bad preserves be things that feed me, I never give to the needy, Come on and see me.” I paused and waited for a response, any kind of response.  He talked more and more about how he works with the homeless and volunteers during his summer to help underprivileged people in places like Haiti or areas of natural disaster.  I must commend him but this has nothing to do with the genes I have passed into him.

“Yippee-ippee-ey-ey-ay-yey-yey, I had to crucify my brother today and I don’t dig what you gotta say some come on and say it, come on and tell me twice.” Was my reply to his do-gooding ways and he went silent.  I don’t know if he was looking within himself for a response that I could relate to.
He said, “I said dad you’re a shabby, You run around and groove like a baggy, you’re only here out of habit all that’s mine you might as well have it, you take 10p back and the stab it, spray it on and tag it, so sack on me, I can’t stand the needy, get around here if you’re asking you’re feeling.” I didn’t expect any of this and from what he was saying before and how he looks in his ironed chinos and button down collar shirt. 

My first impression was he looks like a right wet preppie.  He then continued, “Yippee-ippee-ey-ey-ay-yey-yey, I had to crucify my somebody today and I don’t dig what you gotta say some come on and say it, come on and tell me twice.  So sack all the needy, I cant stand to leave it, you come around here and you put your feet in it. Yippee-ippee-ey-ey-ay-yey-yey, I had to crucify my somebody today and I don’t dig what you gotta say some come on and say it, come on and tell me twice.”
Out here in the park, the preppie world healer was certainly not a chip off the old block until this last bitty, he pulled a bandanna out of his pocket and tied it tight to his head stood up and grabbed a skateboard he had placed silently on the floor behind me when he crept up just fifteen minutes ago.

I got up from that bench and looked at him as he rolled his sleeves up and revealed full sleeve tats on both arms and said, “Yippee-ippee-ey-ey-ay-yey-yey, I had to crucify my somebody today and I don’t dig what you gotta say some come on and say it, come on and tell me twice.”
And in the only way I know how I said back to him, “Yippee-ippee-ey-ey-ay-yey-yey, I had to crucify my brother today and I don’t dig what you gotta say some come on and say it, come on and tell me twice.”

That’s my boy.
Lyrics | Happy Mondays lyrics - Kinky Afro lyrics

Monday 26 March 2012

My Pictures 2

Just a couple of photographs taken at Talacre on the North Wales Coast this weekend.



Thursday 22 March 2012

Choosing my Lottery Numbers based on 3:14am

Acting on a leap of faith and trying to unravel the universal message being sent to me through the whatever, I am planning to place my lottery numbers based upon the premise that 3:14am is a message being sent and not just my subconscious trying the make me go mad.

Here is my train of thought :

Message       : 3:14am,
Derivatives    : "3.14", "314", "Three One Four", "Three Fourteen", "3 14"

If you take the Dirk Gently Holistic view of this it will be incredible interesting with the interconnect-ability of everything.  This should mean if I read the results of my search correctly then I will be a millionaire at some point in the future?

Armed with the trusty words, that never fail, "Google it", I do and this is exactly how I plan to choose my lottery numbers.  I am obviously not going to post my number and the result until after the draw has happened, after all, I may have an unUsual mind but it is not a stupid mind, I dont plan to share my new age fortune with anyone but my wife and son.

Mathematically could I be haunted by π (Pi) 3.14159265 etc etc etc, but you tube came to the rescue, there really are some unUsual people on there, felt right at home.  Don't watch all of that video it will put you into a digit infested coma.  My favorite bit is the single second 1 minute and 40 seconds in, "190914" may I can see if these link into my lottery numbers.

Research Done and during my search I found that nearly everything appears to be a red herring and had a few laughs at some of the results I had got i.e.  Three Point One Four on You Tube very funny.

If you do Google 3:14am there are currently  36,000,000 results, is this a sign of one of my numbers, I don't actually mean  36,000,000, as the UK Lotto only has numbers 1 - 49 and only allows 6 number to be picked.  However if you break it down could 36 be one of those numbers?

However if you Google the Date it sparked the Idea for my original post which was 27/08/2011 3:14am, I get 2,460,000 results at time of publishing this.

So Google showed me the way and I found a great deal, so the biggies include Amazon.com, search Three One Four, rubbish or 3.14 uninteresting, three fourteen dull unless you are interested in In Quest of Wisdom Book Three of Seafoam on the Sand: Fourteen Treatises on Controversial Topics Offering Some Unconventional Thoughts to Challenge Your Convictions or Reinforce Them at $25.45, I didn't think so.

I will continue with my research and let you know the outcome, however if this experiment works I will probably not be doing the blog anymore as I will be able to hire an unUsual sort to do it for me.  When / if it fails I am not going to count it as a failure because they will be the correct numbers I will just need to go back and figure out the correct date they will win.

Links I found that really did interest me though


Not my picture this is directly off his blog.
Laser 3.14  And so the flowers screamed.

Are you reading me?






iGoogle at 3:14am
6 Writing tips from John Steinbeck, via Neil Gaiman.

Warning : Plasfort the defender of Arcadia could be the one doing this after all and the world could be due to end at 3:14am on 21st December 2012.

See you next year y'all.

Friday 16 March 2012

Unwarranted Conspiracy Theory

With the advent a good few years ago about the theory behind Global Warming, the melting ice caps and average temperatures around the world on the increase, everybody started talking about the elimination of fossil fuels or at least the reduction in the use of fossil fuels.

Coming to the forefront of conversations, in an attempt to cope with the reduction in power output, is an increase in nuclear power stations, solar power and wind power.  Attempts are being made to push through the committees and activists a plan to build more nuclear power stations and obviously this has had a fair amount of backlash from people regarding the stability and safety of such actions.  Solar power is appearing on the roofs of more and more houses and wind turbines are being built out to sea and in rural areas to help with the increase in power consumption that the modern world is going to require, not just now but in the future too.

But what if this is all just a global smoke screen to hide something a little more serious, what if all of the governments of the world are all working together to help a bigger problem and one that, more than likely, will cause everyone to panic about.  Maybe the world's rotation is slowing down and all the solar panels and nuclear energy is going to go towards powering something to help keep this rotation going at the rate we require to stop the polar ice caps from melting and temperatures to stabilise back to their climatic norm.

What if wind farms are not actually wind turbines put into the fields and on top of building to generate electricity but really they are very big propellers to blow not to be blown.  These as a collective whole could prevent the countries of the world from falling further into disarray and bring the British public back to Briddlington and Skegness rather than opting to go to Benidorm or Fuengirola.

I leave this with you.

Tuesday 13 March 2012

Planning a Modern Joe Job

Right this is what we will need to do, we will have to find a good target, reality is this could be any one person or any company, organisation or government office.  We wont need the valid email address of the target unless it is actually an individual.  All we will need is a support, information or sales email address, this can usually be obtained from their websites Contact Us page.

Next we go to a children's names website and grab all the possible male and female names as they are usually listed in a column and can be easily highlighted, copied and pasted. In exactly the same way we need to go to a Genealogy website and copy about two hundred surnames, all in all we need about three hundred forenames and two hundred surnames, exactly sixty thousand combinations of of both.

Right now go through your Internet history and grab about one hundred web addresses, all you really need is the TLD, as everyone knows that means top level domain, the bit that doesn't include the www., i.e. microsoft.com or google.co.uk.  Add the @ symbol and now you have six hundred thousand possible email addresses.

Now the technical bit, we need to find about 10 anonymous email relays around the world, a small application usually personally written that will iterate through combinations of forename, surname, domain name and anonymous relay.  The personal little application you have written will send approximately seventeen emails a second and the great thing about it is you can set the details within the email like the email address so the return and the reply-to email address can be set to the email you are sending to, if the email bounces back to the originators email address it will subsequently be bounced back to your target.

So if you run the application over a weekend you can expect the target email server to received a few million emails and be fending off replies, returns and bounced emails for the next few weeks.

The obvious intention is to cripple the targets email and potentially their website too.  Taking out the commercial or marketable aspect of competitors for between 3 days and possibly three weeks.

Reference : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_job

Saturday 10 March 2012

My Pictures - One

With the launch, yesterday of http://joseffsphotography.blogspot.com, I thought I would share one or two of my photographs.

Newborough Beach on Anglesey

Anthony Gormleys Statues on Crosby Beach

Bardsey Island / one of the places suspected to be Avalon?

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Snippet: The Stone Giving

Nebo was still with Seren when without any kind of announcement she started to talk but not in her own voice she sounded more grown up and not at all herself, "The youngling is very special, she holds the key."

Back in the crucible room the unnamed man asked, "What is the purpose of the key?" "Everything will show itself at the Connecting and she will then understand, you and only you will understand until then." she said and as her image started to unravel he replied, "Who are you?" As the image disappeared, not so far away in the school room Seren's wings opened and started to hum to life and Nebo heard one last word before Seren sat back in her chair and went still, "Glenfa"


The images back in the crucible room faded completely and the room was plunged back into the flickering glow from the flame torches around the walls.  The Oracle was first to say something by making the suggestion to Seren that it was OK for her to return to the school room and back into her own consciousness.  As her projection started to fade away and sparkle back to an empty chair a lingering strand of light came away and danced around the table getting the attention of the gathered, as they all watched it finally drew the revealed face as a small image in the centre of toad stool pulsed and gave a last bright flash before a glittering ball solidified into an weighted stone, standing stark upright on a needle point with bulbous perfectly rounded head.  Standing only one inch high, spinning like a child’s toy and singing a steady note as it spun, it glittered as in was spinning slowed and both the spinning and the glittering stopped as the stone stood still unaided in the very centre of the table but the singing never stopped and continued it’s solitary note.


Savage Willengham, Harriot Dee, Frances Gift, Elsie Wrighton, Mr. Jeremiah Dooples, Mrs. Gwen Dandiflower and the unnamed man all stood and stared at the singing stone on the table. The Oracle lent forward and grabbed the stone and held it in his hand.  It never changed and stood upright in his hand when it made a small vibration a dug it’s point into the hand of it’s holder and drew a small bead of blood that seeped into the stone and the wound it had inflicted was then healed.  The Oracle made no sound when this happened but simply said to it, “Thank you”


Everyone around the table except the unnamed man looked at the Oracle and the unnamed man said, “I have never seen one before, how does it feel to the touch.”  The Oracle replied, “I can’t be touched by anyone but the one that it belongs.”


“Ok” said Mr. Willengham, “What is it?”  The Oracle said, “It is the key, people don’t actually know what it is even the one to whom it belongs as there is no way that they are able to describe it.  It has been rarely recorded in ancient scripts as being a fly pod. Because it sings like a firefly’s egg does just before the egg hatches.”


“Flypod's don’t sing?” Exclaimed Miss Dee, “No they don’t sing but the baby firefly makes a humming sound just before it hatches to unravel its wings.” Mrs. Dandiflower said with an air of knowledge.  Miss Dee continued towards the Oracle, “Why did you thank it?” and the Oracle looked up at her gaze and said, “Because it accepted me.”


Mr. Willengham broke away from the huddle and took his seat again and as he sat back into his allotted seat, huffed as though he had eaten something he didn’t like and said without breathe, “So you are trying to tell these intelligent people who have been gathered in the most sacred room in our world that a little spark, that came away from the projection of an twelve year girl who might or might not be going into arena one of the Changing, that turned into a stone that is able to stand itself upright on it’s point, has accepted you, doesn’t this mean that an inanimate object has intelligence?”

Friday 2 March 2012

The case of an unUsual mind

This one was not so much of a case but more likely Holmes had slipped back into the over use of cocaine and other narcotics he picks up the those dens he sometimes frequents down by the docks.  It was a very rainy early morning when I had a knock on the door of my room, "Watson, are you awake?" and with continued knocks and exclamations, "Watson, Watson are you awake?"

I opened my door as he almost fell through it trying to knock harder, "Watson you are awake, good.  I need to talk to you about something very unusual."  Holmes looked drawn and long in the face, his eyes were darkened and sunken into his skull and he said, will you share some tobacco with me, here sit next to the fire and we will talk."

On the few occasions he has done this, by talk he means that he will talk and I will listen to him, it helps him get things straight in his over active head.  I sat next to the fire and decided not to call Mrs Hudson for some coffee and I lit a cigarette.  I had almost finished smoking before Holmes started to talk.
"Watson, over the last five year I have been consulting, with a gentleman, who has been sat in that very chair that you are on no less than 7 different occasions, he is a very interesting man and has told me some very, very unUusal stories."  Holmes stood up and tapped his pipe on the palm of his hand, walked over to the fire and threw the bits of tobacco ash into the fire grate.  He put the arm of his pipe into his mouth and puffed air whilst taking a pouch of shag from his pocket, filling the pipe and lighting it he started to wander around the room leaving smoke trails in his wake.

"I am sorry Watson I was a long way from here.  This man, THE man with the unUsual mind, lets call him Paul for sake of giving him a name.  He first of all came to me five years ago and all he told me was that in four days time I will be engaged in a case that will take me to the Reichenbach falls and everything that entailed in The Adventure of the Final Problem, that you so wonderfully chronicled.  Since my return two years ago he has come back to see me 5 more times and we have talked and talked about all manner of things."

I watched as he blew out smoke time after time and enquired, "Holmes you said he has been to see you on no less than 7 occasions but you have only mentioned 6." And Holmes turned to around to face me and he looked to be in deep thought, "Well done Watson, well spotted I will make a you a consulting detective out of you before you know it.  He met up with me just before I went to see the Maharajah in Calcutta.  He seemed to know that I was going to be there before I knew I was going to be." Holmes walked around a more and his pipe smoke lingered in the air and showed that he was walking in a figure eight around the room. "On the last occasion he told me this, he told me that both you and I are actually fictional characters that are penned by an English man called Arthur Conan Doyle."

I cut Sherlock off in his obvious drug induced state and said, "Fictional, that is obvious rubbish he is feeding you and you seem to have fallen for it.  Tell me Sherlock are you feeling OK? You don't seem yourself, have you been down to the docks again?"  Holmes replied, "I thought exactly the same thing but he told me there was going to be a knock at the door and I was going to tell Mrs Hudson to show up the person who knocked."  I interjected again, "And the knock, who was Mrs Hudson going to show up, this mysterious person is obviously the person who has made you think more about this unusual mans outrageous comments."

"Watson, I met and talked to the man, not the unusual man, but the author, Arthur Conan Doyle.  I do think I have finally burst a blood vessel in my head, I met an unusual man 7 times, which as you know is not like me to meet someone more than once unless it is on a case, except of course that buffoon Lestrade.  But I talked to him 7 times and then I talked to the man he says is the author and creator of Sherlock Holmes the consulting detective.  I talked at length to him for almost two days solid in this room whilst you were up in the Lake District fishing.  All of this has been too much for me and I am now thinking of retiring to keep bees on a farm I brought on the Sussex Downs."  Watson replied to this revelation, "What about your consulting, what will the police do without your incredible skills."

Holmes then said, "You know my methods Watson, you can carry on where I have left off, besides since the death of Moriarty the cases I have been dealing with are missing sisters, a dowry being claimed by a parent other mundane things I am not being stretched anymore."