One Paragraph Insomnia, uneditted, dont hate me

This was normal when my son decided he wanted his bottle at silly oclock in the morning, I got up walked like a blind man, refusing to turn the light on, simply because I dont wish to wake myself up. Step by step, down the stairs staying to the left as there is usually crap piled on the right. Open noisy door walk through close noisy door, fumble around for a light switch and feel around for any wall or chair. If only someone was watching me in the dark they would be reminded of Clarisse Starling, rookie FBI agent in Silence of the Lambs, Thomas Harris, excellent fruit cake. Clarisse is in the basement in the dark with a gun and a serial killer wearing night vision goggles. Kitchen door found, navigated, sweaty palms, what if there is a crazy mad serial killer watching me through night vision goggles. Kitchen light on, phew no mad man, just me. I unscrewed the top off his bottle rinsed it and filled it with water up to the eight fluid ounce mark and opened the microwave, a quick thirty seconds. Start button pressed, distinctive microwave hum as it clicks into motion firing off its, technical physics based things. And wait, check the clock on the cooker, piercing red 3:14am, why do I ever bother looking at a clock, it is always 3:14am. I am starting to think time only ever changes when I pay no attention to it. About three minutes ago I put thirty seconds into the microwave and it has only just blinked over to twenty seven seconds. I looked at the bottle doing what my microwave dictates its going to do when a shimmering blue thing appeared by the kitchen door but reflected in the glass door of the cooker so I flung myself around to look and in my imagination I thought about Dr Who and the Tardis. My 3:14am insomnia imagination is starting to really mess with reality, did I eat cheese before bed last night? I would have jumped back if there wasn't a cupboard stopping me from doing so, but the pleasure screams came before the crash and the pain screams, when the gargantuan figure of the intergalactic dwarf warlord, Blasfort the destroyer of worlds was deposited at my feet on my kitchen floor. "oh man, I would do that again, it is like a massive waterslide, do you know how long that took to get here, minus three minutes, that is my most favourite was to gain three minutes of my life back." I looked at the piercing red numbers on the clock, 3:11, I filled the bottle with water and put it in the microwave and watched the numbers fall.