Since You've Been Gone Parody - Kelly Clarkson

Here’s the song
Tell me what you think
It is crap, let us not pretend
Yeah, yeah, I hate this song
I’m dedicated, I took the time
Wasn’t long, this song is a crime
Yeah, yeah, I hate this song
And all you'd ever hear me sayIs how much this song is spew
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But I hate this song
I can breathe for the first time
So I hate this song, yeah yeah
Thanks to Kelly, Now all I hear, is this song
I hate this song

How can I put it, This song is shit
I will never fall for this stupid song
Yeah, yeah, I hate this song
How come I never hear you say
That you hate this song
Guess you never felt that way

But I hate this song
I can breathe for the first time
So I hate this song, yeah yeah
Thanks to Kelly, Now all I hear, is this song
I hate this song

You had your chance, you blew it
They could have been, better lyrics
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

I hate this song(I hate this song)
I can breathe for the first time
So I hate this song, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
All I hear, is this flaming song
I can breathe for the first time
So I hate this song, yeah yeah
Thanks to Kelly (thanks to Kelly)
Now I regret (I regret)
You should know (you should know) that I regret

I regret this flaming song

I hate this song
I hate this song
I hate this song

This parody is written by me and is not for republishing or actually making into a song, this would be wrong because I hate this song and I dont want to get told off by people who will slap handcuffs on me and cart me off to jail.

If in the unlikely event that Kelly Clarkson, her management, her lawyers or anyone else associated with her, her record company or anything else not covered above, is actually reading this. This is simply in jest and my wife loves this song.

Climbing the wall

I had been wanting to do this for years and most of my life I had the places to go on my door step, unfortunately I never got much of an opportunity partly because of the safety aspect of climbing real rocks and the fact I seemed to be the only one of my peers that was even mildly interested. College and university took over and it took me to move away and live in the metropolis for ten years only to return and find that my home town has actually become a town that will now offer all the things I wanted fifteen years earlier.

My wife brought me the climbing lesson for my birthday and just two weeks ago I went along to the Climbing wall that Proadventure Llangollen has brilliantly built. Indoors and safe just what I wanted and or needed. I will be doing this a little more often when the office and DIY allow me the freedom.

Turning up at Priory Street, signing the necessary parchments and lesson number one, learn how to hang off a wall. Step here, grab there but on your first lesson and being the wrong side of thirty and gravity is pulling to hard on my body means stepping there and grabbing here was far too painful. We were shown that maybe you don’t need to hold yourself to the wall by grabbing at all, too much use of muscles and not relying on the skeletal frame. Grab there and straighten your arms and let your shoulders take the strain.

Of course techniques need a little bit of practice so start here and go over to there, do not touch the floor unless you fall and when you reach the end turn your body and step onto the wall behind you and then come back again. Yellow walls covered in hand holds and steps of varying colours and sizes and I determined I wasn't going to fall off this practice wall.

Practice wall, done. Now over to a slightly bigger boys wall much of the same with a door way in place to negotiate. Start over on the left move sideways using the techniques learned and I will be told where I have gone wrong. Surprisingly I made it twice without drop into the gaping hole below me, all of 2 feet at its highest. However if I was to move my body sideways and pull in closer to the wall I will use less muscles groups and save energy which is a good one to remember because it was starting to hurt a little in the lower arms and my fingers where not too good either.

Shake it off and go again, but, ropes. Even tying a knot isn't straight forward at first, loop that side over there bring that side over the front stick that bit through there and around some more. How big is the tail you have left, well it wasn't that big so untie and try again? When you have a tail loop it over and if you can loop it twice, do it and then stick the tail back through the loops and my goodness I could raise the Titanic with this knot. Safety harness safe, carabiner locked and the mate I have with me has to check me whilst I check him. The words, "Drop me and I will be upset." come to mind but stay there.

Even out instructor checked us out the first time, big sighs of relief when he signed us off to climb. Being the gentleman that I am, I allow my mate to go first and I was his anchor at the bottom for when he did fall. He did I dropped him, but that was later when limb fatigue and too many years of lack of exercise took over. I did redeem myself when I caught him the second time.

Climb to the top, touch the chain and your anchor will lower you down. Now do it only on the green holds, a little more desperate to not fall this time with the limited amount of holds available to us. Great completed that now let’s do the same again but this time we are going to add a slight over hang and only using orange holds.

Happy days and completed.

What an excellent way to spend a Sunday morning. Just waiting for Christmas now and see if I can drop hints about the Kayaking they offer.